WINNER TAKES ALL

 

Quark opened the door to his quarters and wearily trudged inside. He made his way through the dark and sat down on his sofa, only to jump to his feet again.

“Computer! Lights!” he cried. The lights flicked on and Quark started at the sight of a scantily clad young woman reclining on his sofa. She smiled up at his confused expression.

“I’m Lulu,” she purred. Quark eyed her cautiously, more so because she was human rather than because she was a woman.

“And what can I do for you?” he asked suspiciously.

“A better question, Quark, is what can I do for you?” she replied. Quark grinned and turned on the charm.

“Drink?” he suggested. Lulu grinned back and nodded. Quark fetched them both a drink and then sat down opposite her. “So, Lulu, what is it that you can do for me?”

“What would you say if I told you I could increase your profits by ten percent in one month?”

“I would say that females and finances don’t mix,” he replied. Lulu finished her drink in one gulp.

“Don’t be so quick to judge me, Quark. I can do a lot more for you than tickle your tympanics!” Quark raised his brow and gave Lulu a look of mock disbelief. “I can show you how to short-change your customers so that they won’t even notice, how to make sure your waiters can’t cheat you out of their hard earned tips, and how to increase the amount of latinum being spent at your gaming tables.”

“And why should I believe you? You’re not just female, you’re a hew-mon female.” Lulu smiled and reached inside a small bag that sat on the floor at her feet. She pulled something out and handed it to Quark.

“Because of this,” she said. Quark turned the object over in his hand. It was a small disk of gold plated latinum, and it had a picture of a tree on one side and something written on the other in a language that Quark didn’t understand. “That is my family crest.” Quark was curious.

“What does it say?” he asked.

“It reads ‘Greed is Good’,” replied Lulu.

“And the tree?”

“Ancient humans had a saying, ‘Money doesn’t grow on trees’! My ancestors used the tree as a simple reminder of that fact.”

“Only your ancestors?” Quark asked quizzically.

“In today’s society, the pursuit of money isn’t seen as a civilised activity, and it is because of this that I have been shunned by my family and their friends. You see, Quark, I was the last of the black marks against the family name and now even I have been removed.” Quark sat quiet for a moment before speaking again.

“I suppose your advice comes with a price attached,” he surmised. Lulu rose from the sofa and stood before Quark. She reached down and began stroking his lobes.

“Doesn’t everything,” she replied. Quark’s eyes rolled back with delight.

“If we’re to do business together, we should draw up a contract, negotiate a price, ahh, that’s good.” Lulu straddled Quark and took one lobe between her teeth, while his hands roamed all over her body.

“I thought we were negotiating,” said Lulu salaciously, and she slipped her flimsy dress off her shoulders exposing her full breasts to Quark’s wondering hands and lustful gaze.

“Do you usually negotiate like this?” he asked as he rolled her fleshy orbs in his hands.

“Only with Ferengi,” she breathed hotly, “I don’t know what it is about your race, but I really enjoy negotiating with Ferengi.” Lulu licked her lips and then kissed Quark passionately. He was surprised by how forceful she was, pleased, but surprised. Quark moved his hands down to Lulu’s hips. He gripped her firmly and started rubbing her against him. Lulu took over and moved herself against her business partner, slowly, firmly, and soon Quark was rock hard. Lulu stood up and let the rest of her clothes fall to the floor. Quark’s mouth fell open as he took in her full figure, her long legs that would shortly be wrapped around his body, and those magnificent breasts. “Touch me,” she ordered. Quark reached out and stroked the inside of her thigh. Lulu’s flesh was warm and soft and inviting, so he stroked higher and higher. Lulu sighed as he inserted a finger in her sex and began to tease her. Quark pleasured Lulu until he heard her begin to whimper and gasp, and then he removed the stimulation and deprived her of her impending orgasm. She pouted down at him.

“My turn,” he said grinning. Lulu got down on her knees in front of Quark and stroked his cock. She reached up and unfastened his jacket and waistcoat and then reached for the clasp on his trousers, but just as she did so, the doorbell sounded. Quark had a visitor. “GO AWAY!” he yelled. The doorbell rang again. “I said go away,” he called out again, but once more they heard the doorbell. Quark sighed heavily. This wasn’t happening. “I’m sorry, Lulu. It’s probably just my idiot brother, Rom. I really should see what he wants, but while I’m doing that, perhaps you would like to make yourself comfortable? In my bedroom?” Lulu grinned and nodded. She picked up her dress.

“Don’t keep me waiting too long, Quark,” she purred as she left the room. Quark swallowed hard with lust and the doorbell rang again.

“Alright, alright, I’m coming! Enter!” The door to Quark’s apartment opened and greeted him with the smarmy, smiling face of the last person he wanted to see.

“Brunt, FCA!” A Ferengi male strode confidently into Quark’s apartment and glanced around. “I hope I’m not interrupting anything, Quark!?” Quark sighed even more heavily than before.

“What do you want?” he asked. Brunt smiled devilishly baring his pointed teeth and sat down on the sofa that Lulu had occupied.

“A summer house on Risa, to liquidate the Nagus, to give you a surprise audit…”

“Perfect! Why not? See you tomorrow!” Quark indicated for Brunt to leave but he didn’t budge.

“Now, Quark,” grinned Brunt.

“But I’m not ready! I mean… I wasn’t expecting you.”

“Hence the surprise,” said Brunt. Lulu listened as the conversation progressed. She wasn’t interested in what was being said, more that there were now two Ferengi males in Quark’s apartment, both with delicious voices, and she had been left in a state of wanting. Lulu crept closer to the doorway separating the bedroom from the living area in the hope of catching a glimpse of the visitor. Her wish was granted, but just as she saw Brunt, he turned and saw her, too. “Well, well,” he began, “Now I see why you wanted me to leave so badly.” Lulu edged out a little further.

“Who’s your friend?” she asked Quark, keeping her eyes locked with Brunt’s.

“He’s not my…”

“Brunt, FCA,” interrupted Brunt, and he hurried to his feet and took her by the hand. He pulled Lulu out into the room and grinned lasciviously at her nakedness. “My, my, what do we have here?”

“I’m Lulu,” she said simply. Brunt couldn’t take his eyes off her.

“Of course you are,” he breathed. Quark almost couldn’t bare to watch. This couldn’t be happening. For the first time in a long time he was going to have sex, and for the first time ever he was going to have sex with a hew-mon. Quark hated Brunt so much right now that his lobes hurt. Lulu sensed his displeasure and wanted to help but she also found herself being very attracted to the very confidant Brunt, and then she had an idea. Lulu sat down.

“Sit down, both of you,” she said authoritatively. Both men rushed to sit at her side. “There,” she said, pointing at the sofa opposite her. Quark and Brunt glared at each other but obeyed the command. “I think I may have a solution that will prove beneficial for everyone.” Quark opened his mouth to protest but Lulu held her finger to her lips and silenced him. “Now then, Brunt, by coming here tonight you have interrupted important negotiations between Quark and me, and I must tell you that I intend to finish those negotiations and conclude our deal just as I promised.” Quark sat grinning smugly at an annoyed Brunt. “And Quark, I find that I would also like to help with the whole surprise audit ‘thing’, and am willing to negotiate with Brunt on your behalf.” Quark’s grin faded as the meaning of what Lulu had just said sunk in, and Brunt grinned instead as he realised her intent.

Lulu slowly slunk down to the floor and crawled on her hands and knees to the waiting Ferengi. She slid her hands up their legs and gently massaged their cocks through their trousers. Quark and Brunt looked at each other for a moment, uncertain of Lulu’s actions.

“You want both of us?” asked Quark warily. Lulu nodded.

“Together?” asked Brunt wide eyed. Lulu grinned and began stoking their lobes.

“And now,” she breathed hotly. Brunt and Quark both lunged at Lulu. She laughed as they knocked her onto her back and lustily groped and kissed her. Each of the men hurried to undress, the presence of the other no longer hindering their end goals. Quark was the quickest of the pair and he wasted no time in climbing on top of his ‘business partner’ and screwing her as hard as he could and Lulu wrapped her legs around his waist urging him deeper. She caught a glimpse of Brunt out of the corner of her lust filled eye and had another idea. She rolled Quark over so that he was beneath her but still inside her and invited Brunt to join them. Brunt knelt behind Lulu and reached around for her breasts. He squeezed them and pinched her nipples and nuzzled the back of her neck. Lulu felt behind her and grabbed Brunt’s cock. She stroked him gently at first but then harder and harder as Quark forced his way deeper inside her body. Finally Lulu couldn’t stand it any more, she had to have both of them. She guided Brunt to her rear orifice and begged him to enter her. Brunt obliged. He pushed forward against the tight little hole and winced at the pressure around his cock, but Lulu was panting from Quark’s assertions and Brunt would be damned if that limp-lobed twit won. He pushed harder, again and again until he was all the way inside of her. Lulu let her head roll back so that it rested on Brunt’s shoulder and then she simply sat back and enjoyed the ride. Quark in her pussy, Brunt in her arse and orgasmic explosions only seconds away. The two Ferengi worked hard at fucking this girl, each of them trying to out-do the other, and then it happened. Lulu came. She screamed as the simple feeling of pure bliss washed through her body. Lulu panted as the two men worked until Brunt gripped her hips tightly and thumped into her even harder than before. He breathed in her hair, perfumed with sweat, and cried out his release, and Quark was quick to follow, the spectacle of the other two pushing him over the edge as well.

“I think you’ll both agree that this settles all accounts!” stated Lulu as they collapsed onto the floor. Quark and Brunt were too exhausted to argue and so just nodded their heads. As they gained back some of their strength, the Ferengi got up and dressed. They didn’t speak and couldn’t bear to look each other in the eye, but both continued to steal sideways glances at the still naked Lulu who was now stretched out on the sofa. Finally Brunt broke the silence.

“Come to Ferenginar with me!” he said.

“What? Why?” asked Quark.

“Not you! Lulu.” Lulu looked up at Brunt and grinned.

“Ferenginar, huh? And what would I do there?” she asked.

“Help me with negotiations,” he replied grinning. Lulu thought for a moment before getting off the sofa and slinking across the room where she began to stroke Brunt’s lobes.

“I accept,” she said. Quark’s jaw fell.

“I think you’re forgetting something, aren’t you?” he said desperately. Lulu picked up her bag and reached inside. She pulled out an electronic book and handed it to Quark.

“All the information is in this,” she said smiling, “No charge.” And then she kissed him passionately before fetching her clothes from his bedroom and getting dressed.

“If we leave now we can get back before the market opens,” said Brunt. He took Lulu by the hand and took her away. Quark sat stunned in his chair. What had just happened? Did Brunt win? He looked at the book Lulu gave him and screamed. Her advice for increasing his profits was just a copy of the Rules of Acquisition! All she had done was highlight a few choice rules! Quark held his head in his hands. Brunt had won! Quark had discovered the most cunning, conniving and devious woman in the Delta Quadrant, and then lost her to Brunt! With Lulu negotiating on his behalf, Brunt would be unstoppable. There was nothing left to do, Quark curled up in a ball and cried. Brunt had won!